Often couples who are faced with consistent failure with many fertility treatments may consider surrogacy as the last resort if they want a child who is genetically related, that is, the baby shares one or both partner’s DNA. Also in certain cases this is the last resort for those with health issues or for LGBT couples. Since this is certainly not an easy way out stress becomes natural to surrogacy.
Fertility specialists are of the opinion that the emotional burden associated with surrogacy is equally important to deal with just as the financial and legal aspects.
Below are six ways to effectively deal with the emotional nature of surrogacy stress:
Be certain and filter your thoughts
Is it necessary that your child has DNA of both parents or just one parent’s DNA- or if it is really important to you? This is the most difficult choice and decision that you have to make.
In case of Gestational surrogacy, often, the intended mother’s egg and the intended father’s sperm are used. In case of gay couples, sperm and donor eggs are required; in case of lesbian couples, egg and donor sperms are used.The egg and sperm are mixed via In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and the resultant fertilized egg is transferred into the womb of the surrogate. Hence, the surrogate mother is not genetically linked to the child.
Keep away from stress and anxiety
Counselors are experts at identifying signs of emotional clash or excessive stress within the relationship. Using a surrogate is an immense decision that partners must readily hold together.
Despite the fact that both partners may be wholly dedicated to the process, but undue pressure can take place due to the financial burden if they are not financially secure. So the partners must budget precisely to ease out stress on their relationship as well as the bond with their surrogate. Fund planning should be able to meet the inherent cost of surrogate’s payment, counseling, physicians’ visits, costs of medicines and tests, attorneys’ fees, traveling cost and other expenses.
Be at ease and fulfill all legal requirements
Regardless of the fact that the surrogate you have chosen is someone from within the family or a friend or someone who is not known to you, you need to acquire peace of mind given by a legal agreement for any surrogacy arrangement.
Let go off control
Usually Intended parents who are skeptical or unhappy or have overblown ego problems are not good entrant for surrogacy programs. On the other hand Couples who deal with new situations with flexibility and better accept the situation will by and large have healthier relationships with their surrogates. And you need to understand that end of the day nobody wins a power struggle.
It is absolutely normal to be excited! Usually the intended parents are emotionally fenced as they have experienced consistent failure with becoming a parent, regardless of extensive efforts. But for the most part usually surrogates have gone through this process and given birth previously and have in fact taken pleasure in the experience, and are more than willing to help others. They too want to be assured that you are excited and looking ahead to becoming parents. Despite the fact that the parties may have very different backgrounds, but one thing is common between them – that is their aspiration to deliver a healthy child!
Know what’s best
Situation could definitely get more difficult post nine months of pregnancy. So plan ahead for the day you see your new born. Although you are overwhelmed with the joy of seeing your child and becoming a parent but ensure that the surrogate too is relaxed in the labour and equally appreciated after the new born. After all it has been a tough day for her too. Also pre-plan before the child is born to the extent of your relationship post birth so that expectation levels are preset for everyone.